you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
