This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
