Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
