Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
