how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
