He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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