You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
