Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
