Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
