her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
