To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
