ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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