Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
