Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you traded sex for a burrito?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
This is my gift to your gina
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
