"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
