I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
