he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
