you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
