Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
