Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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