the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
