We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
