playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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