So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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