I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
