wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
