New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
