can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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