She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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