Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
