I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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