I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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