problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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