I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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