Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
