the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
