I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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