I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
