Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
love makes seman taste better
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
