Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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