you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
