Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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