why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
