I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
