i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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