Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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