I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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