On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
