I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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