There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
